We have a fighter on our hands!

I wanted to give you all an update...
She was born on Tuesday afternoon, I saw her Tuesday night and she was still on the vent.  A stronger vent than they started out on right after birth.  On Wednesday morning, my nurse came in and said that had already been able to bump her down to the C-PAP machine.  I will tell you now the hierarchy of machines as it has been told to me. Ventilator, C-PAP, high flow nasal cannula, low flow nasal cannula, room air.  So, she was on C-PAP all day yesterday and she was able to be turned down as the day progressed- praise the Lord!  THEN- this morning they told us she has been taken off C-PAP and is on high flow nasal cannula and 21% room air.  God heard your prayers!!!  They keep telling us not to be alarmed if she has to back track a little on these machines as that would not be a set back it would just mean she is tired.  Her muscles are still really small and it is not uncommon for her to be bumped back up for a period of time.
Yesterday afternoon we hit another milestone!  She was able to take a little breast milk.  She was getting 2 ML/3 hours through her feeding tube.  This morning she is up to 3ML/3 hours.  She is tolerating this well so far.  She has lost 3 oz since birth but this was expected.  She is down to 1 lb 4 oz.
She is the tiniest bundle of love I have ever seen.  Of course all parents say they never knew they could love something so much, but it's true for us.  We can't believe we are already parents and could love something this much!  I do have to say, I feel a little helpless.  I know this must be normal...
**I had to pause a minute because the neonatologist came in.  He is so surprised at how well she is doing!  God is hearing the prayers!  He said he realizes he was negative when he first talked to me in recovery about her lungs.  This is when they could not get her stable on the first vent and had to move to a stronger one.  He said he never expected her to improve so quickly.  *He is WONDERFUL by the way*  He said not to be upset if she has to move back to C-PAP or something as that's normal.  He also said she is doing great right now and he has nothing bad to tell us.  However, not to get discouraged or scared when he has to call us and say something is not going our way.  This will happen and we will deal with it accordingly he says.  We have talked to him about getting to hold her and it's best to wait until her umbilical catheter is out.  This is where they take her BP, draw blood and other things.  If it were to come out, they would have to stick her for all of these things and I would never want to cause that stress to her.  While holding her really scares me due to her size, we are ready to hold her but in due time.
I don't think I can speak more highly of this place.  God brought us here for a reason and I know his reason.  These people are so wonderful, loving, and intelligent.  The neonatologist came in just now and sat on my bed for 15 minutes and talked to Rob and I like we were his children.  The nurse manager just came in and I could not stop talking about how wonderful everyone was.  Anyway...I will leave you with pictures from the last day or so.  Please keep prayers coming for Ann Martins strength, lungs, weight and organs to function properly!  We feel your love and prayers!   Love you all!
Elizabeth

                                 Thank you Amy Grace for the beautiful door hanger!!

 Ann Martin with a head full of dark hair.  Can you see her fingers- she get those long things             from her daddy!

 This was this morning...she was doing great.  Occasionally pitching a fit, if you can call it that.  She is also a squirmer.

 Here is a close up- the green tube is her nasal cannula giving her oxygen and the orange tube is her feeding tube.  Light is for her bilirubin levels.  Cloth over her head, we both wore it under our clothes for the first 24 hours to put our scent on it.  They cover her head with it to keep the light out of her eyes.  Her eyes are still fused shut at this point.  They keep her bound tight in her bed to imitate the womb.  Inside her oscilette is very warm to also imitate the womb.

Just some of the sweet, sweet friends that came to visit the day she was born.  Left to right- Becky Eady, Bess Wilder and Sharon Futch.  Not pictured- Suzan McKenzie- grandmother, Ann Lanier, Paul- my dad, Angie- my sister, my mom, Amy Grace Warren...please forgive me if I forgot you- I was heavily drugged :).

We love you all!!

Pictures

It's early and I'm still loopy but I thought I would share a picture of us with Ann Martin last night. I was determined to get in there, almost fell asleep a few times, but I got to see her. My nurse said she had a good night. We will see her in a little while again. I still feel that none of you will ever know the gratitude I have for each of you for the prayers, thoughts and visits. You all helped my family through this and and I know God heard each of your prayers! I will be eternally grateful to you!
Love,
Elizabeth

The long road and a Mothers Selfless Love

Disclaimer-I'm not a great speller ,although Mrs. Cowan and Mrs Powell Tried, and my spell check is out. Use your imagination if you can not figure out a word

I have never been one to publicly voice my feelings. Only those closest to me know what I am truely feeling and thinking, but under these recent circumstances I feel it is my only choice. I will start by saying The Baby Girl has arrived!!! All 1 pound 7 ounces 11.5 inches of her. There is no question in my mind Ann Martin is a fighter. She has over come so my things to get to where she is today and the most recent reports we have gotten from the Doctor are good. She is on 21% oxygen which is very good. We are in the "Honeymoon Phase" right now and this could all change in teh days ahead, but we have seen her a couple of times tonight and were actually able to touch her during the previous visit!

Moving On.....
We have been so so blessed over the last couple of weeks with all of the prayers and well wishes. It is very flattering and an honor to call you all friends and family. You will never know how much this has and continues to mean to us. I posted the first facebook post a couple weeks back and the very first post was an old friend of mine that I honestly have not seen in close to 10 years. Just to know that you are all there for us is pure comfort. A special thanks to our church family at Central Methodist for both of teh prayer shawls. They have been at the head and the foot of her bed throughout the entire process. Peggy Turner also gave us one that has been right beside them the whole time. I have been flooded with text messages and email from Bosses, Clients, Coworkers, and friends all day (I have had to charge my phone 3 times). From the bottom of our hearts Thank you all so very much.

To my main point-
The things we encounter in life make us who we are. Life is full of paths and it is up to you to choose the path God has laid out for you or to choose your own. I have done both, but it was when I meet Elizabeth ,on a blind date of all things, where I finally started seeing the writing on the wall. OUr relationship was a challenge from the start. She was in one place and I was in another both literally and figuratively. She refused to give up on me although many times I felt she was gone. I finally wised up and chose to follow what I see in hindsight as the only path for me. She has made me a better person than I ever though possible and the happenings of the last 4 months have shown me what she is really made of. I give her a hard time nearly everyday about being what I call a "tenderfoot". I did admit to her yesterday that I can no longer claim that. She has selflessly put her needs and wants on the back burner and has done anything and everything to keep Ann Martin healthy. Her back has been against the wall since the 10th week of this pregnancy. Watching her over the last two weeks lie flat of her back for the most part only getting up for the restroom and having four walls close in on her, but refusing to give in to her own wants is the real lesson here. As a daddy, I will always love any child I am blessed with, but I do not think I will ever be able to equal that level of love. It is with great honor I call her my wife and I hope to one day be half as strong as she is.

Ironically in closing the song on Pandora is "God Gave me You" by Blake Shelton and the line in the song that really gets me everytime I hear it is "There's more here than what we're seeing, a Divine Conspiricy". No question in my mind that is what we have.

Till Next Time-RMM

Rocky day

This morning started out like any other morning. Breakfast, good morning America, live with Kelly and Michael, the view...accompanied by monitoring. My nurse came in during because baby was having d-cel. She is supposed to stick around 150-155 with 10x10 a and d cels. Meaning she should go up to 165-170 max and down to 135-140. She was stuck around 60-65 this morning. She had me turn side to side to bring her back up. Couldn't do it. She called for help. Of course this immediately alarmed me. The doctor was the help that arrived first followed by two more nurses. The doc checked me and I wasn't dilated. They are continuing to try and find a steady heartbeat but they started to pick mine up instead. Then doc says we are delivering. (Initiate hysterical here). They put me on oxygen and anesthesia comes in to start IV. I'm praying at this point for Gods will to be done as I have been this whole time. After what seemed like a century, really five minutes, (longest of my life) her heart rate came up. Doctor said we could hold off on delivery but I would be on monitor until they could get me in to see my special doctor. He was able to fit me in at noon. He said that the cord flow, placenta looks great and baby is still squirming. He said to just keep doing what we are doing and keep me pregnant as long as possible. The d-cels are to be expected with no fluid around the baby. This is because she is more likely to roll onto the cord or grab it with her hand. It's something that I have no control over and it's important to simply give it to God.

I was put back on the monitor this afternoon for most of afternoon. While she had d-cels, they were not quite as long as this morning. I think the longest one was 1 min 20 sec.

I have tried not to worry too much but that's real hard. I hope to get some sleep tonight and have a better day tomorrow. This day turned out to be just fine, she just wanted to remind people she was still here :). We will be 26 weeks Wednesday...this is my short term goal right now!

Please keep us in your prayers. We know the prayers have gotten us to where we are today and we are so thankful! It has almost been three weeks and we are so grateful for these extra few weeks for her growth and development. I am about to go back on monitor. Hoping and prayer for her to behave and to get a good nights sleep.
Love, Elizabeth

Update

Well, we have been here at Baptist for a week and a half...AND we are over two weeks post rupture--Praise the LORD above! He is good! Everyday I am monitored three times for fetal tones and TOCOs- contractions.  For the most part they say her heartbeat looks great.  I have had to stay on the monitor a couple times for longer because she had too many Acels and Dcels (her heartbeat went too low or too high).  This becomes a bigger concern when she stays there for minutes at a time.  She only stays there max 30 seconds right now.  I have been told that if it get too high and stays there it indicates infection.  If it gets too low and stays there she is likely compressing the cord.  Both would initiate a delivery.  They have also told me that there are three big reasons I would be delivered...infection, contractions, and excessive bleeding which would indicate the placenta breaking loose.  I pray daily for these three things to not happen.
I have my days when it feels like these four walls are closing in on me.  For the most part though, I have been doing great! I am so happy and blessed to be here in this facility.  I am confident in the staff here as well as appreciate their sincere compassion for me and my family.  I must say that they most reassuring part though is the faith of these workers.  They are God loving people and you can tell.  My nurse a couple nights ago saw that I was upset by the monitoring and having to stay on longer and she asked could she pray with me.  It touched my heart.  My mom was lost one afternoon and a lady from housekeeping walked her back to L and D and asked why she was here.  My mom told her and she said that she would be praying for me and would like to add me to the prayer list at church.
My mom and husband don't like for me to be alone so Rob stays with me on weekends and my mom covers nights during the middle of the week.  My sisters, Bess, Rob and Mom have all been here during days and I have spent one day by myself.  I have had lots of visitors and it was great to see them all.  More than anything we need continued prayer for God's will to be done and hopefully a healthy baby in the end.  We anticipate a lengthy NICU stay but hopefully the longer I can keep her in, the shorter her stay will be.
This is by no means how I thought having a baby would play out.  This is life however and we never know what God has in store.  I believe in his plan for our life and trust in it.
Love,
Elizabeth

What happened...

To give a brief overview of what happened...
Monday, October 21, I was put on bedrest because of something else that wasn't right- I will spare details. On Monday she also sent me to hospital to get ultrasound because I was visibly very upset by what was going on.  My fluid measured at 13.  I continued on bedrest till Thursday when I went in to work that afternoon and just did some paperwork..sat at my desk..no treating patients.  To the suggestion of my co-workers, Jill and Becky, I called to see if my doctor could fit me in.  They could so I went over.  Her U/S tech measured me and she got my fluid at 7.  Since if was such a vast difference she sent me back to hospital for same guy to measure again.  He got 12 so she sent me home.  I continued on bedrest.  That night around 10:00 I was laying on the couch and I felt a gush of fluid.  Went to bathroom and it didnt do it again.  I laid back down and called my mom who called my doctor.  She said to meet her at the hospital.  When I stood up, it happened again only this time I knew it was my water breaking...I was in a terrified, melt down, panic at this point.  I frantically got dressed and Rob rushed us to L and D.  They hooked me up and my doctor came up to check me out.  Long story short, she told me it would be bedrest until delivery, and neonatologist would come see me the next day.  He did come that morning and told me that they don't have the ability to care for infants younger than 26 weeks and I was 23 and 1 day. He recommended a t/f to UMC.  So that afternoon I was taken to Jackson.  That experience was not a good one.  I was sent there for the care of myself but more so my baby, not for compassionate workers but they did lack in that dept.  Basically, after monitoring on L and D for 12 hours I was sent to ante pardem and then sent to a MFM on Saturday morning.  He pretty much told us the baby had no chance and sent us home.
My mom took the u/s report to my doctor and she asked to call the MFM I had seen in Jackson.  My mom waited and he said he would like me to come to Baptist and him be consulted.  When my mom told us this we talked and quickly decided to do it.  Tuesday morning we headed over to Baptist.  He told us that afternoon he was going to monitor me closely, see me once a week, and would keep me here until I deliver.  Once I hit 26 weeks, God willing, I will see him twice a week.  We have three days to go until 26 weeks!!

I have tried this blog thing before and was not good at it.  Since I have nothing to do I will try to keep it updated..Thank you to all of the pray warriors we have out there! Keep them coming!
Love,
Elizabeth

Baby McKenzie

I'm not a writer.  I'm not good with words.  I am a mother-to-be,  or I hope to be.  I am 22.6 weeks pregnant and have lost most glimmer of hope.  This past week has been one of the most terrifying and unexpected turn of events I could have ever imagined.  You never think something like this will happen to you.  You never think it could get this bad...
Thursday night will be a moment in my life I will never forget.  I always imagined the moments leading up to the birth of your child as exciting, happy, somewhat scary but in a good way.  Knowing that once this is over you will have a healthy baby to hold in your arms, kiss on, and stare indefinitely at.  That's what we all like to think.
One second they give you hope that it is still possible to have a baby to hold if we just do all the right things.  The next they tell you that your baby has very little chance or, "viability" as they like to call it.  It is not comforting to hear the triage nurse yell, "23 weeker in triage one, gross rupture".  Just when you have calmed your fears for the first, second, fifth time in the course of 2 days, someone deflates them again.
The conversation with the MFM specialist that Rob, my mother and I had on Saturday...hardest thing I have ever been through.  To be told what odds your baby has with each day..to say that even if she were born in a few weeks, she has no fluid to expand her lungs in the mean time.  To say that she has 50-90% chance of have long term neurological deficits...  To say that if I choose to have a C-section to give this baby a chance, it could effect my abilities to have children in the future...
Bottom line- God gives us no obstacles that we cannot overcome.  God has a plan and a will for our life.  Rob and I will be a stronger family through this.  We have be so moved by the prayers, words, and thoughts of our families and friends.  They mean the world to us and have given us such comfort knowing that they are there.  Please pray for God's will to be done and to remove all fear from our hearts.  I feel it is the ultimate sin to be fearful in this time but it seems to overcome me...